Expressing My Inner Peacock

Sharing my unedited journal entry from 25 June 2011, of an art therapy session that transformed my life - personally and professionally.

Please kindly note: this may prove triggering, as I will touch lightly on my personal diagnosis of Triple Negative breast cancer a few years ago.


This particular incident with the peacock feather led me to retrain in a completely different field: in creative arts, carving my own unique training pathway so that I can help others the way I was helped. I hope you enjoy my ramblings about peacocks and their symbology.

25th June 2011


On page 396 of 'The Wise Heart' by Jack Kornfield, he writes "This perspective is called finding the goodness in everything"; it is in response to the notion that we can all meet tragedies at any point in our lives. The Dalai Lama says "... we can react in two ways. Obviously, we can lose hope, let ourselves slip into discouragement, into alcohol, drugs and unending sadness. Or else we can wake ourselves up, discover in ourselves an energy that was hidden there, and act with genuine clarity and compassion."


So that is how my healing journey begun on 1st June 2011 when my Beloved and I received confirmation that I did have a malignant tumour, with the earth-shattering news that I had Triple Negative breast cancer (Stage 3).


I could choose to wallow in self-pity and kept myself as the Forever Martyr, hooked on Doctor Google's terrifying statistics ... or I could try to look for the smallest of positives. Instinctively my positive nature reared her head and peeped above the parapet ... "Choose Me!" she trilled.


And so it began ...

Peacock feather in chalk


This (above) is my interpretation of a peacock feather ... I created this on Tuesday 14th June 2011 during an Art Therapy class at The Haven in Fulham, using chalks on a huge piece of paper! This inspiration came from my initial meeting with The Haven on the Monday (13th June).


Isn’t the male peacock an amazing show-off? With such spectacular coloured plummage, who can blame him? I remember the first time I ever saw a peacock – in a town garden (Gildredge Park) in Eastbourne, East Sussex. I was a little girl, perhaps only about 4 or 5 years of age, and I remember asking my grandparents how the bird got to be so big and brightly-coloured. To me, the peacock was enormous – especially when they fanned out their tail feathers. I also remember feeling quite indignant that the beautiful colours were only to be found on the male peacocks (ahh! Already a feminist-in-the-making at such a tender age!).


The last time I saw peacocks was a family city break to Lille in France, some 6 or 7 years ago, and they truly did look spectacular against a backdrop of pristine white snow.


The symbology of specific animals appearing in your life at certain times has always fascinated me – and none moreso than the peacock this week.


Expressing My Inner Peacock

The peacock symbology arose in my Life just two days ago, as I attended a meeting at The Haven before I start a lengthy course of treatment. Determined to stay as upbeat and as positive as you can be when faced with surgery and then chemotherapy et al, I reflected that I had always wished to have more self-confidence and wear outrageous feather fascinators and funky, colourful hats each and every day: I viewed this phase of my life as my Peacock Era, where I could finally strut my colourful stuff and really be who I yearned to be without any qualms.


Wearing funky hats and colourful scarves would also be a great way of keeping my probably-soon-to-be bare head warm and cosy!


The very next morning, I took part in a Creative Expression Art Therapy course at The Haven – which was in some respects quite similar to the work I do with my clients in my ARTbundance™ Createavity Coaching practice. It was the perfect tonic – relaxing me and helping to put aside worries about my imminent surgery while I became totally immersed in playing with circles in chalks, pastels and acrylic paints. I discovered that I love, love, love working with chalk and acrylic paints!


Out of my work that morning came the most amazing vision … my own personal interpretation of a beautiful peacock feather. I was stunned.


This was a complete revelation – especially as we are really going through a major transformation with the three eclipses: “This eclipse will herald a shift in resolving the tension between what we know (Sagittarius) and what we have yet to learn (Gemini). It will allow a ‘breathing space’ between the intense amounts of information that may have been coming your way allowing you to filter what is important and what can be left on the shelf … just slooooow down to listen to your own ‘inner voice’. Know you have the wisdom of the world within you so take it easy in order to listen.” (Ethereal Light – Facebook Note)


The wonderful art psychotherapist invited me to read a little about the symbology of peacocks, and see if anything resonated. Well, of course it did! The power of the peacock is all about adding vibrancy and vitality to your life ~ and helping us on our spiritual Path, in addition to helping breath new life into our faith, as well as rejuvenate our self-esteem too.


I thought the Buddhist concept of the peacock “eating poison” - thus allowing it’s body to become healthy and beautiful - was a very powerful expression of my own journey, as I will soon be undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatment … what a wonderful vision to hold on to!


Peacock Symbology

Did you know that

  • the peacock is a symbol of immortality – the ancients believed that the peacock had flesh that did not decay after death … early Christian paintings and mosaics use peacock imagery … and this symbol of immortality is also directly linked to Christ
  • the peacock naturally replaces his feathers each year and because of this, they are also seen as a symbol of renewal and transformation
  • the peacock is also seen as a symbol of integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we endeavor to show our true color, and carries portents of: Nobility, Holiness, Guidance, Protection and Watchfulness; Glory, Vision, Spirituality, Awakening and Refinement
  • in Hinduism the peacock is associated with Lakshmi who is a deity representing benevolence, patience, kindness, compassion and good luck
  • in Asian spirituality, the peacock is similarly associated with Kwan-yin (or Quan Yin) – an emblem of love, compassionate watchfulness, good-will, nurturing, and kind-heartedness.


In a more general sense, peacocks are a symbol of openness and acceptance, and in Buddhism they symbolise wisdom. “Peacocks are said to have the ability of eating poisonous plants without being affected by them … synonimous with the great bodhisattvas. A bodhisattva is able to take delusions as the path toward liberation and transform the poisonous mind of ignorance, desire and hatred into the thought of enlightenment or bodhicitta, which opens colourfully like the peacocks’ tail … By eating poison, the peacocks’ body becomes healthy and beautiful. He is adorned with five feathers on the head, which symbolise the five paths of the boddhisattva and the attainment of the five Buddha families … they please other beings just by being seen. Similarly, any body who sees a bodhisattva receives great happiness in his mind. peacocks symbolise the transmutting of desire into the path of liberation ...” ♥


Did you recognise any aspects of that within your Self as you read through this?


I believe we all have a touch of the inner Peacock in us and would love to invite you to explore other “power animals” as symbols of your own beautiful blossoming over the coming few days ~ do let me know what you uncovered, I’d love to hear from you!


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